RESOLVING PERSISTENT WORKPLACE CONFLICTS
Barbara and Sy Landau
From ADR Forum, 1999

Conflict exists in all work settings, just as it does in all human relationships. In fact, a typical workday probably consists of a series of conflicts, large and small, that need resolving. Problems arise; they are dealt with; they go away; people move on to the next one.

In some work settings, the conflicts are not dealt with and they do not go away. Sometimes these problems are so unique and complex that their resolution would be difficult even for the most skillful problem-solvers. In many cases, however, the problems that an organization is unable to deal with are neither unique nor particularly complex; in fact, similar problems are being dealt with routinely in other organizations. In these situations, the most challenging problem is the organization's inability to resolve conflict.

Most organizational conflicts have both substantive and relationship components. Persistent conflicts are usually characterized by unresolved interpersonal issues. That is, there is something about the way the people interact, communicate and solve problems that makes it difficult for them to resolve differences that people elsewhere are able to deal with.

Relationship conflicts can arise in two general ways: either important substantive issues were left unresolved or were resolved poorly in the past, leaving poisoned relationships; or personality clashes, communication problems or other interpersonal dynamics led to poor relationships. These poor relationships make it difficult to address substantive issues, leading to a dysfunctional cycle.

It is important to deal with relationship issues, either because they represent most of the conflict, or because they will prevent resolution of the substantive issues. This is what is meant by "Separate the People from the Problem".

A poor relationship cannot be corrected in a short period of time, but progress must be made to the point where the parties are prepared to work together to resolve issues. Because of the sensitive nature of these conflicts, and the lack of trust they engender, it is often important to use an external mediator who can provide neutrality and confidentiality.

Suggested approach for resolving relationship conflicts:

1. Try to find common ground,

The mediator should explore with the parties, separately and together, relationship elements that demonstrate important things they have in common:

a. Common positive history?

Was there a time when the parties worked well together? When did they meet? What were the circumstances? What were their impressions of each other at the time? How did the relationship develop?

b. Common objectives or values?

Do they have similar goals for the organization? Do they have similar management approaches? Do they have similar work ethics? Do they see a super-ordinate goal that must be achieved, despite interpersonal conflicts?

c. Common preferred working scenario?

Can they visualize a preferred working relationship once the conflict is resolved? What would this ideal relationship look like?

2. Explore diverse perceptions.

The mediator should help the participants examine their different understandings of how the relationship went wrong, and try to develop a common perception.

What happened to cause the relationship to change? Were they all aware of the change at the time? Did they all understand the change in the others' perception?

3. Exchange commitments.

The mediator should encourage the parties to acknowledge the impact of their past behaviour on the other, without necessarily accepting blame, and to give commitments to change behaviour. These commitments can be written up and reviewed at a later date to ensure there is accountability for promises made.

These steps act as important confidence building measures that continue to improve the relationship as the parties move on to deal with substantive issues.

Useful techniques

In addition to interviews, personal observations and the opinions of colleagues, it is often useful to have parties complete self-assessment instruments. These can be used in a "teach piece" that helps people better understand the interactions among the parties. Later, in small group sessions, the specific implications can be discussed.

It is also valuable to include a training session on communication skills. People can then be encouraged to use these skills in the problem-solving meetings.

After relationships improve

Very often, once the relationships have started to improve, people will be prepared to start solving substantive problems. It is helpful for the mediator to facilitate a few such sessions to ensure that the relationship commitments are being met, and to teach a conflict resolution model that people can use in future situations.